liz writes stuff down
26Oct/16Off

Reasons to kick Peter Thiel off Facebook’s board

There's a push to remove Peter Thiel from Facebook's board, and Mark Zuckerberg doesn't care about the threat he poses. Many of the arguments are centered around diversity, which is a tenet Facebook says it deeply values.

The ways Thiel fails to value diversity matter: his beliefs are not just a matter of intellectual debate but a very real threat to my safety. They are particularly transparent during the 2016 election season. I don't support the bigoted, sexist candidate that is Donald Trump like Thiel openly and aggressively does for a host of reasons. One of the most important is that I feel directly threatened by having someone who freely admits to committing sexual assault hold the highest office in my country - I feel especially, intimately endangered as a survivor of sexual assault myself. That's just one of the numerous reasons a Trump presidency would devastating be for women, people of color, LGBTQIA+, and other oppressed groups.

However, Thiel's harmful views on diversity and elections reach much farther than his open, aggressive support of Donald Trump in this election. Thiel believes that women like me should be stripped of their right to vote - not just because of the diversity concern regarding how he clearly doesn't care about women, but because women happen to disagree with his political views and actually hold the power to prevent the outcome he desires. The voter suppression he espouses directly eliminates free speech, something Facebook claims to be incredibly important.

Kick Peter Thiel off Facebook's board. Kick him off because he discourages diversity. Kick him off because people like me don't feel safe with him on it. Kick him off because he doesn't believe in free speech.

3Sep/16Off

He’s not my friend.

Appearances can be deceiving.

When a man comes over to talk to me, I can't always speak my mind. What I want to say is often not what someone else wants to hear, and I learned early in life that men who don't hear what they want to hear often get angry. Maybe that anger will manifest as a low grade displeasure, but maybe it will escalate to speaking loudly against me in attempts to humiliate or hurt me. Maybe it will end with him badgering me about it until I change my mind, possibly even chasing me around right then and there.

In attempts to avoid unwarranted verbal attacks and ensure my safety, I don't usually speak my mind with men I'm not very close to - I de-escalate. I laugh at his inappropriate statements towards me. I choose not to give constructive criticism when something is already just good enough. I don't defend myself when I'm right.

Especially when he's new to my life because I haven't seen how he reacts when other people, particularly women, say something he doesn't like. Especially when there is no other way to work on something I believe is very important than to work with him. Especially when he's in a position of power relative to me because I can't predict how it will affect a dynamic I have no choice but to put up with.

And most of the time, I don't even notice that I'm doing it, but it always feels terrible.

I can't make a big deal out of it though, probably not even to you - what if he hears about it? He'll come back upset, maybe even more upset than if I spoke up in the first place.

I probably don't tell you.

So you see him sitting down next to me at events, and I don't put up a fuss because I don't want to disrupt what's happening around me. You see him make a joke about me, and we look friendly because I let out a reluctant laugh. You see him coming to chat with me when we're all leaving something, and I weakly smile because I know listening to what he has to say will make it easier for me to leave and get to any of those million other places I'd rather be. You see me doing something for him because it takes less time and emotional energy to do it than convince him it's okay for me not to.

You think we're friends.

I'll panic when I run into him next, and I'll probably de-escalate the situation again. Your narrative about how we get along will get another story. My world will get a little smaller because you won't believe me when I say there's a problem.